Thing One Sues Thing Two Over Trademark Infringement

In a stunning development, Dr. Suess’s Thing One has filed a trademark infringement case against his former protege and partner Thing Two, citing longstanding differences between the two and a lapsed “partnership agreement” that had earlier set out the legal rights between the two children’s book stars.

In a suit filed last week in federal court in New York, Thing One claims that he was the “sole and indisputable creator of the mark known as ‘Thing One’” and that it was “his and only his idea to fly kites in the house on wet, wet days.”

An attorney for Thing Two dismissed the lawsuit as “overblown and preposterous”

“Honestly, folks,” said New York lawyer Adam Crawford, who specializes in children’s book cartoon character trademark infringement, “is Thing Two confusingly similar to Thing One? I think not. They are very, truly, really unique. Case dismissed.”