In a concerted effort to reduce government spending, the Republican-led U.S House of Representatives has voted to “eliminate all vegetation on or around government buildings and near government-funded structures.” Immediately after the vote, plans were under way to bulldoze the National Mall and fill it in with concrete, apparently eliminating any need for future upkeep.
“Honestly, do we need all of that green stuff?” asked one Republican representative, who supported the measure. “Just bulldoze it all and throw down some cement. That’ll save a bucket of wasteful spending and open up plenty of parking revenue.”
In a prepared statement, Democrats who opposed the bill said it was one step closer to “creating a new Soviet Union within our own country. Pretty soon, we’ll only have cement and flourescent lights, but lights that only get turned on each Tuesday.”