After pressure from a group of criminal defense attorneys in New York, the state has created a new “Special Court of Curmudgeons” that will limit practice before the court to a select few attorneys who have a “proper” view of what it means to practice law.
According to officials who are working out the details of the new court, attorneys wishing to practice in the new Special Court of Curmudgeons must adhere to a strict “code of curmudgeonry,” which includes weekly berating of younger attorneys whom they feel do not live up to standards of professionalism and excellence, as set forth in the Magna Carta and the 1932 version of the New York code of professional conduct.
“It’s a fantastic, thrilling day for us,” said Thomas “Scoop” Gruenfeld, an attorney who has pushed for the creation of the court. “No longer will we be plagued by bottom-feeding narcissistic scumbag wannabe lawyers who believe they know how to practice law because they carry around an iPuck.”
Some attorneys, however, say the new court will continue to exacerbate a growing discord between young lawyers who wish to practice and “curmudgeons who think the profession is falling apart and no one can save it from itself, except us.” Opponents of the new court have drafted a letter to New York Governor Andrew Cuomo asking that the state reconsider its decision. In response, the “group of nine,” as the supporters of the court call themselves, issued a press release stating in part:
It is a nice simplistic argument, as one might expect from children with little grasp of the legal profession. Indeed, the letter writers are childlike, obvious, and silly. Just cut the crap and save it for the village idiots. In the end, the bottom feeders, the losers, the incompetent, and unethical will flock to the windows of our new court to see how law is meant to be practiced. And stay off the goddamn lawn while you’re there.